Friday, July 8, 2016

Acceptance & allowing...

Morning, all!

So I thought I'd pop on here and give you a quick cliffs notes version of the book I have been reading and a few points that really stuck with mw.  And please note:  I'm writing these here as much as a reminder to myself as I am for you guysJ  In fact, I may consider printing these out and tattooing them to my forearmJ  

Eating what you want:  Isn't the forbidden fruit the most tempting?  It's well documented on this blog that I'm not one to order the 'sad salad' in place of the burger I REALLY want, but lately I've really been noticing to the need to 'eat what you want' in terms of how I normally structure my week.  It's always been fairly easy for me to say "OK, Monday I'm going to do well and I'll do well the rest of the week and the weekend is up for grabs."  Now the Monday-Friday (afternoon) eating healthy plan is a good one and it keeps me on track for the most part.  The problem here lies in feeling like my brain automatically switches to 'junk' mode once the weekend is here, even if I don't REALLY want it.  Suddenly come Saturday night, I'll NEED ice cream.  Not cause I really even want it (OK, 65% of the time I really DOJ), but 'because it's Saturday and it's my days to indulge.'  Or what about on Tuesday night when I'm DYING for ice cream...but NO, I have to hold off till the weekend!  Ya know where that leads??  To wanting that ice cream even MORE and probably eating a bunch of other stuff in between to try to fulfill that craving till I can have my ice cream.  And it's a good chance that, by that point of eating alltheotherthings while trying to fulfill the craving, it's not even as appealing anymore.  Grant it, it CAN be beneficial to wait for something...but for someone like me, it only leads to more cravings and more grasps for food I really don't want in the name of 'waiting till Saturday to indulge.'
And in the same vein, I also struggle on those weeks where I can't FULLY get back on track and have a little bit of an 'off' (not perfect eating) Monday, leading to a not great Tuesday, which leads to 'well, this week is shot.  Might as well just eat what I want until Monday and I'll start over.'  Instead, I want to try to REALLY observe what I want meal-to-meal and notice if I want to indulge or I want to eat healthy.  Wednesday night, Katie & I hit up the 7-11 for some of those great treats from the freezer case (hello, Choco-Taco!).  Last night we went to the same convenience store...and I had no desire for anything.  By 'allowing' myself to have that ice cream on Wednesday, I had NO desires for dessert on Thursday.  Definitely worth noticing.  It's teaching yourself that you can have ANYTHING you want at ANY time, so when you DON'T really want it, don't just have it just because it's there or it's 'your time to indulge.'

Which leads to tip #2:

Ditching the scale:  Again, I could go on and on about this one.  I DO love the accountability and 'goal setting' that is involved in weighing yourself on a weekly basis.  What I DON'T love is the up & down emotions it causes in my brain.  In the same vein of 'eating what you want,' I've also spent YEARS 'eating for the scale.'  And what I mean by that is 'I'm gonna eat a salad tonight because I weigh-in tomorrow, but after the weigh-in I'm going to have pasta.'  Not because I really WANT the pasta at that moment, but because it's 'my night to have it.'  Can you notice how REALLY tired I am with assigning food to different nights and times??
The other problem with the scale is when it's good, it CAN be extremely motivating.  Especially that 1st week you're trying to lose weight and do, you feel on top of the world.  The 2nd week usually goes pretty well too.  But by that 3rd week?  Not only is that typically a week where you either can gain a little or stay the same (can ya tell I have a bit of a history with this??), but it's also the week I tend to start WHITE KNUCKELING, trying to hold onto that weight loss and OVERthinking every bite.  Even knowing this, I try to brush it off and keep moving forward.  But inevitably, it gets to me.  Especially if ya skipped dessert, had the salad and worked out even though you were exhausted all in the name of a good number on the scale.  So what do you think you're going to do if the scale doesn't reciprocate and show all of that work?  If you're anything like me, you're going to try to brush it off all while being PISSED AS HELL and starting the cycle of "I did ALL that work!  Why do I even bother???"
I've had some really GREAT scale moments, but I've definitely had my share that just have GOTTEN to me and really kinda screwed me up for DAYS.  So right at this moment, I'm trying to BAN the scale to a once-a-month 'check-in.'  I've been SOTEMPTED, especially since I've been feeling pretty lean these days with my added cardio (which has led to eating well), but I KNOW if that number isn't quite what I'm hoping for (aka-50 pounds down in 3 days...not overly hopeful, right??J), I'm going to have in burned in the back of my brain.  I really think these first two tips are going to play off each other and I'll keep you updated on how they play out.

Accepting where you are RIGHT NOW:  This one's importance DEFINETLY became evident after seeing what I went through with the dance recital.  That I spent nearly the full 'school year' in a PANIC over what I was going to look like on stage.  Yet, the moment I said 'it is what it is at this point, it's not going to change overnight' was when I finally felt the weight of all of that pressure lifted off my shoulders.  Instead of coming from a place of beating myself up and berating myself for 'how can you eat that when you have to dance next to all those skinny women'??, I started coming from a place of acceptance.  And, according to the book, stopping any and all of those negative comments we continuously run in our minds is the way we start to treat ourselves with LOVE vs. punishment.  My lunch yesterday was veggies and hummus because I knew my body would LOVE that, not because I HAD TO HAVE IT BECAUSE I NEEDED TO BE SKINNY.  Isn't it always better to live in the moment vs. living in the past of either "I used to be skinny' or 'look how much damage I've done to myself.' OR, worse yet, WAITING to live in the future 'when I'll be skinny.'  It all seems so silly when you type it 'out loud' vs. allowing ourselves to live in that space in our head.  I, for one, am VERY ready to start running those positive thoughts through my head vs. the constant negative berrating.  And here's another little secret:  All those things you point out in the mirror that you despise and how you hide because you're so worried about what 'everyone else thinks'- I'm betting 95% of the time 'everyone else' doesn't even notices all of those things you're so embarrased of.  My stomach and thigh area is one part of my body that gets to me a lot of the time.  But ya know what?  That part of my body also gave me 2 healthy children.  And those thighs are strong enough that I'm so fortunate to be able to jump & dance around for exercise.  So what the hell do I care if my neighbor at the beach thinks I have a stomach roll in my swimsuit??  I've worried about it a zillion times over and I'm definetly ready to STOP caringJ

So...there ya go.  My tips for you AND ME todayJ  Hope they help give you a couple new outlooks as we head into the weekend.  Comment below or let me know what you think.

Have a great weekend!

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As always...thanks for reading!

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