So ya know why this week's Monday post is NOT going to be about balance? Because this week was not balanced in the slightest. As a matter of fact, I think I barely even made dinner this week because my breakfasts & lunches were so out of sorts, that dinner was usually either non-existent or some weird combo of crap leftovers. And to cap off the week of insanity, yesterday we had a breakfast of donuts:
And ended with a...get ready...a bacon wrapped-meatloaf:
I mean, this is supposed to be a 'trying my best to be healthy' eating blog, right?? But this is also REAL life and while I usually try my best to eat within the 80/20 rule, some times everything just goes off the rails. And after struggling for nearly THREE weeks and not doing great, but STILL trying to keep it within reason, yesterday ended up being the culmination of all those tougher 'stuggles.' It's been a tough few weeks and hard not feel all of those 'bad' choices adding up, making you feel lousy and your brain feel cloudy. But at some point yesterday I said to myself 'ya know what, instead of feeling guilty about this and mentally beating myself up over it, I just needed to recognize it for what it was: a MOMENT. Realize that NO, it was NOT how I actually LIKE to truly eat (or how I like to feel after eating all that non-healthy stuff), but it just was kind of a day after a couple harder weeks. Just a day in the grande scheme of a normally 'healthy' lifestyle. And instead of saying 'THAT'S IT! I'M GONNA GAIN IT ALL BACK NOW! IT'S OVER!', I just recognized that I was going to get it back together. And THAT'S IT. Instead of turning this into a death spiral in my brain, yesterday I just wanted to own it and be fine with it. Because ya know what, I ALWAYS feel better when I do well and I knew I wanted to feel that way again, like, NOW. So maybe I could just be OK with the rougher days and then MOVE ON.
And ya know what I've already done this morning??
Worked out. And not because I 'had to and had to beat myself up for all I've done,' but just because I wanted to and wanted to start off the week with MOTION. That's it. And in an effort to keep this positive, I also tried to focus on all that I HAVE achieved in the last couple months, so here goes:
- The # on the scale is one I would have KILLED for a few months ago...so even though there's a WAYS to go (isn't there always?), ya definitely gotta acknowledge how far you've come so far.
- I have kicked my daily 'coffee creamer' habit! As I've mentioned on this blog before, coffee creamer was probably my most unhealthy DAILY habit. I don't stress too much about ingredients in occasional TREATS, but didn't really love that I was having all those unpronounceable ingredients, hydrogenated oils, corn syrup and artificial flavors DAILY. So I've swapped to honey & 1/2 and 1/2 for my daily coffee back in February and haven't looked back. And even when I have creamer once or twice a month, it's not nearly as enjoyable. Now, all remains to be seen when my favorite HOLIDAY flavors roll out in the Fall/Christmas...but we'll cross that bridge when we get thereJ
- I finally got myself into a near-daily meditation habit, which has been instrumental in ALL of my 'clear/rational' moments about food and ALLTHETHINGS in life. Confession: I had downloaded the app "Calm" in April, and one of the features is that it keeps track of your meditation "streaks." THIS has been the one thing that brings me back to meditating, especially in those moments where you JUSTCANTDOIT. My OCD reminds me that I want to keep the streak going and it's just that motivation I need to pluck myself down, even if it's just for those 10 minutes. Whatever works, right?? I'm so close to going for a CLEAN SWEEP in May...so I'm gonna keep on keepin on!
Not to mention, how awesome that it adds up all the minutes?? Crazy to think how those 10 minutes here and there can add up to HOURS. Hours where you weren't stressing, fretting, obsessing, depressing and all of those negative 'ings,' but rather just being CALM. Sounds like a much better way to spend your time, right??
So that's what I'm going to choose to focus on at this moment rather than all the donuts/bacon meatloaf/lounging/rougher moments of the last week/couple weeks. Which is making 'getting back on track' feel MUCH less like this unsurmountable mountain that you're staring up at from the very bottom. Instead I'm just going to look at it as a little dip and now I'm gonna get back to climbing. Why add the stress of feeling like you're 'starting all over,' when it's just a few rough moments in a whole lifespan?
It also helps me mentally keep everything in perspective that even though my food wasn't balanced last week, I DID at least keep up my workouts:
Monday: Vinyasa yoga
Tuesday: Tap class
Thursday: Gentle yoga
Friday: Taught gentle yoga + Gentle yoga + Power yoga
Saturday: Taught vinyasa yoga (my 1st taught hour & a 1/2 class!)
I am already freaking out a little bit that this weekend is Memorial Day (WHATTT??!!!) and with that comes more opportunities for splurges and treats, BUT I'm going to focus on how I've been eating the last few months, where I've just taken each meal as it comes and focused on doing the best I could in THAT moment. One thing at a time is always an easier way to handle EVERYTHING in life, right??
And with that...off to kick of this week on the right foot: with a good breakfast. Have a great day, everyone!
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As always...thanks for reading!